Daddy's Little Girls

It's a crappy rain day, and I'm sitting here feeling lonely and without ambition. Even my dogs went right back to bed after breakfast. So I'm sitting here at my computer, and that lead me to this:

A conversation was sparked today from a picture a friend posted of his daughter on Facebook. He called her his princess.
I told him that every little girl deserves a devoted Dad, to feel she’s the center of his world and would give her anything, to teach her what she should look for in a man to love. Without that, a girl will spend her whole life finding out the hard way. I speak of experience on that one, and I’m not alone.

My parents bitterly divorced when I was just starting first grade. I remember very little of that period in our lives. I know that my Mom ‘ran away’ in the middle of the night with just the clothes on our backs, and there are few pictures or mementos of our lives until after that point. I was 7 years old when that happened. I do remember seeing him a couple of weekends, and feeling like I was unwelcome in what used to be MY house. He was physically abusive to my Mom, and she only left him because she was afraid he would do it to me. I remember feeling paralyzed against a wall watching him in a drunken rage, punching holes through a tile wall, breaking up the furniture and throwing it out the back door. My Mom even said he took a 2x4 and broke my Great Dane’s leg. My other memories of him were getting arrested at a carnival because he wouldn’t throw away his beer, us leaving a nice restaurant, making a scene because the service wasn’t fast enough, and being arrested at our 4th of July barbecue for selling fireworks. The last memory I had of him was after the divorce, when he took me Christmas shopping and told me to buy anything I wanted. I had a field day with that. But, when I got home, at the tender age of 7, I saw the disappointment in my Mom’s eyes as I showed her the very things she had bought me for gifts. I felt so bad I told her, “It’s ok Mom, I can play with two Barbie airplanes.” Later in life, I realized he did that, not to make me happy, but to hurt my Mother.
I looked him up when I was in high school. I found out really quickly that for him to be the ‘giving devoted Dad’ that every girl wants, I needed to have an audience. I saw him a few times, and when I brought someone with me, he showed off and acted like the generous, devoted Dad that I wanted him to be. I saw him a few times, he gave me a few bucks, and we had a few dinners.
I married at the age of 20, had my Son a year later, he saw him once when he was 6 months old. Prior to that he berated me for getting pregnant with no insurance. I stopped reaching out to him, and I never heard from him again.
As I’ve mentioned, October is a horrible month for me, having lost my Mother. I get lonely, having a tiny, disappearing family. In my weak moments, I’ve allowed myself to write to my Dad twice. First, about a year after my Mom passed, and just this past month or so. I’m not surprised I haven’t heard from him, and only half disappointed, as I know that having him in my life is only going to lead to more hurt feelings. Better off without him, I know this.

But still, when I see a woman who’s Dad has always given her everything , dancing at her wedding, I tell myself I’m stronger for my experiences, but the bitterness and envy is in the background. I’m happy for them, and very sad for me.

So, for all you Dads out there listen up:
Always show them and tell them how much you love them, and how proud you are of them. Tell them they can do and be anything that they want to be. Make them aware of the truth that they are worth having a man who will treat them like gold and do anything for them, and they should not tolerate any less. Girls can always subject themselves to less than desirable treatment at the hands of men in the name of love, but the ones that have no example will believe they don’t deserve and better, or that there isn’t anything better out there. There is a very popular John Mayer song, “Fathers be good to your daughters, for daughters will love like you do.” And it is the truth. Daddy issues can leave a girl so desperate for love and approval that she will subject herself to ANYTHING just to find it.

A devoted Daddy can foster the greatest confidence and pride, a strong sense of self and security, and the understanding that they can reach for the stars, and if they fall, someone will always be there to catch them. That could be the difference that causes her to strive for the very best in life, not being afraid to try, for fear of failure or humiliation. The difference between happiness, and misery is in your hands. Give them the knowledge of how they should be respected and loved, and the tools of confidence to accept nothing less, and the courage to leave no stone unturned.
She will be a different woman, and have a totally different life if you do. The best life possible is a gift that lies in your hands.
And to the fathers of boys: Teach them well, for they learn how to treat a woman from YOU.

And for those of us 'little girls' out there who are lacking in the above...YOU are wonderful, fabulous, and STRONG...just because you didn't have someone there to tell you this your whole life, only makes you stronger. You DESERVE everything your heart desires, and don't let ANYONE convince you otherwise, especially not yourself.