http://arizonaheartspoetry.blogspot.com/

Friday, November 13, 2009

What do you do?

Please post comments....i'm taking advice!

What do you do about....
A coworker who continually pretends to be busy, all the while you're busting your ass, and having to pick up their slack?

A coworker who can't handle more than one thing at a time and has to run back and get someone because she's 'busy' holding a piece of paper or something ridiculous, but when you're genuinely visibly busy, doesn't bother to help out...and insists that she can 'multi task with the best of them'

a coworker who:
constantly has snide underhanded remarks
has a wickedly spiteful immature 'tit for tat' mentality
will stop at nothing to sabbotage things u do to get u in trouble
continually waves any mistake u make in ur face and to others
drags clients into her little 'points' to be made to make herself look better and you look bad
always has an explanation of why she's doing something or has to get someone else's answer so that she can exclude herself from any blame at all
(and the above coworker is all ONE person.....aka the 'office bitch')

coworkers who stop working the minute u get to work because they've worked hard all day and it's time to relax now that you're here

a boss who's management philosophy is out of sight, out of mind

a boss who is never really there to see how bad it really is

A boss who's answer often is "enter office bitch name here" is "enter office bitch name here" and she isn't going to change, just do ur job and don't let it get to you.

Which is all fine and dandy, but taking the high road and doing that only makes her get worse, and take more advantage of you, and increases YOUR workload, so it DOES affect your work!

a boss who won't fire anyone because it's too much trouble
a boss who would rather just hire another person to help when someone can't keep up with their work, but expects you to do all the work yourself, and you're already busting your ass all day long?
but when you ask for a raise, there isn't 'enough cashflow for additional hours or pay"

A boss who can't afford to give you more hours or more pay, but his wife spends ridiculous ammounts of cash on crazy stuff 'just because' silly pens, sticky notes to give away, $800 for 6 wooden dining room chairs for the waiting room, etc
who pays for their daughter & husbands expenses, who paid for the son in law to go to a different doctor for broken leg surgery because they didn't like the doctors his insurance would pay for.

a boss who pays those 'coworkers' who take breaks and sabbotage, and who have been there for years and years, more than you, but you literally do 3 - 4 times the work the others do?

it's war at work
then you go home, and it's war at home (i've already covered the why it's war at home part, i won't go on about it again....read past posts lol)
what do you do?
what do i want to do?
RUN AWAY!

If quitting your job, and quitting your life isn't an option, how do you make all of the above ok without giving the people around you permission to do what they do and continually take advantage of the fact that you'll do nothing or 'take the high road'?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Shades Of Grey

Shades of melancholy grey
filled my world as you went away.
Rooms filled with deafening silence.

My mind races with wishes and fear
Empty arms outstretched, aching to hold you near

Green eyes heavy with sadness
Tormented and craving

Without you
waves of lonliness crashing all around

The weight of my world suffocates me
My soul is dark now, you were my gravity.

With you, my heart is full
my soul shines, my heart soars.
Memory is a fact of the soul.

Lifting my heavy cloak to reveal my wounds
I say to you "Love answers need."
I long to shed this cloak,
step outside my skin,
kneel naked before you in all vulnerability,
and wait for you to take me in.


I gave to you all of me.
I fulfill it because I contain it.
It prevails because it is within me.
And I say to you with the purest of love on my tongue
you, and only you
were
the
one

(This is an oldie, I can't even remember when I wrote this)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Music

I live in my music....and the music lives within me
Music, life, words, feelings, powerful stuff

Creed. Wash Away Those Years by Creed


She came calling
One early morning
She showed her crown of thorns
She whispered softly
To tell a story
About how she had been wronged
As she lay lifeless
He stole her innocence
And this is how she carried on
This is how she carried on

Well I guess she closed her eyes
And just imagined everything's alright
But she could not hide her tears
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years
They were sent to wash away those years

My anger's violent
But still I'm silent
When tragedy strikes at home
I know this decadence Is shared by millions
Remember you're not alone
Remember you're not alone

Well if you just close your eyes
And just imagine everything's alright
But do not hide your tears
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years
Well if you just close your eyes
And just imagine everything's alright
But do not hide your tears
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years
They were sent to wash away those years
Maybe we can wash away those years

For we have crossed many oceans
And we labor in between
In life there are many quotients
And I hope I find the mean

Friday, November 6, 2009

I would NEVER!

One thing I've discovered that you learn as you age is that you cannot judge the behaviors of others based on what you would or would never do. With age (usually) comes the wisdom that unless you've been in that person's place, having had that person's feelings and experiences, you absolutely cannot accurately say what you would do!
"It's easy for people to say I would never do that", or "I would never stand for that", or "I draw the line at, and would never cross it". Never say never.
It is easy to sit and judge from the safety of your ideal mindset.

I had a friend who said I would never allow a cat to stay in my house if it urinated out of the litter box. That cat would be so dead, I'd have it put to sleep. (A cat lover, mind you). She now has a beautiful miniature pedigree that she has paid a lot of cash for, and has fallen in love with completely. You learn to make another exception. You put another blanket on the couch, you buy a carpet cleaner, you invest in solvents, anything you can think of to make it not so bad.

Another friend of mine has a sibling that was cheated on by their first spouse. Her stand is I do not tolerate cheating. I'm sorry but you just don't do that. Even talking to someone in an intimate conversation is cheating. Seriously contemplating cheating is cheating! Ok, we all have a moral compass, and on it is cheating. But we all have our degrees. Some draw the hardest, farthest, boldest line in the sand. Others, it's not so permanent. They move the line over because they're leaving the person they're with right now. Or they fell hopelessly madly in love with this person and couldn't control what happened. Maybe their spouse is a controlling, abusive, rapist bastard, and the only way out of it was to find someone to help them, monetarily, courage-wise, strength-wise. Right or wrong, good or bad, it is done all the time. Don't get me wrong, there are still predators out there forging internet and interpersonal relationships with whomever they can find, and there are people out there with stories so horrific that they're collecting people to feel sorry for them. Those are the wrongest of the wrong....and there are the rightest of the right who drew the line at never ever ever ever....and then there are all of those in the grey area in between.

And then there is the person who says you just have to bite the bullet and give a child tough love. KICK THEM OUT, etc. What about the parent of a child who has been less than tolerable througout all of his adolescence and is now an 'adult' living off of his parents, taking them for a ride, unemployed for over a year, not making more than half an effort to get a life. Hanging out with his friends until wee hours of the morning. Sleeping past noon. Collecting tickets, getting arrested, costing them legal bills to get him out of jail and to get a lawyer to clean up his license so he can still find and get to a job.
You know that he's just doing more stuff because he's depressed and feels like a loser so why bother raising anyone's expectations....it isn't going to get any better than this...you know... the FUCK IT mentality kind of young man who is his own worst enemy and refuses to see it. He blames everyone else for his problems. He steals money from his parents because they have everything and they deny me everything all the time....The cops are assholes with nothing better to do than harass us....and the judge is a prick to everyone...and the guy I just rearended started to go and then just slammed on his brakes for no reason...and I haven't paid my insurance since July (because he'd rather pay the cell phone bill and get fast food with his pals) and the stupid insurance company won't let me pay them up now so that they cover this accident. Everybody is a fucking asshole who are on this earth just to hold him down and piss him off, he can't catch a break so why bother with anything. Maybe one parent has been trying to lay down consequences and teach lessons, but someone else comes around and helps them behind their back. What if that lesson would've been learned if they hadn't screwed it up like that?
Here's the line in the sand....let him suffer the loss of his license, and you know it's just one more excuse not to bother trying to get a job. Pay the lawyer bill and accident so he can get a job and hope he does? Kick him out of the house for being a freeloader, and risk the chance that he'll end up doing something so much worse than what he has been doing. What is a parent to do?

I know it's easy to draw those lines and say I would or I would nevers...and some of you may have even been there before. But none of you have ever been in that other person's shoes with their feelings and experiences.

Maybe that 'other' person is the soul mate you've been looking for your whole life and you never intended it to go that way at all, but it did, and maybe they're just screwing around because they can..

Maybe that boy is the only family that parent has left, and maybe they're so afraid of losing them or making them worse...

Maybe that cat is the only joy in that person's whole life...or maybe they're just too afraid of feeling the pain of letting it go///

My point is, it may be wrong to you, but it isn't you that you are judging.

Isn't it the best that you can do, if you truly love a 'friend' is to listen, offer support, and try to understand? And offer advice, IF, and that's a big IF it is welcomed...
and come from a place of compassion, and not judgement?

Just a thought.