Attitude adjustment

Have you ever wished you had the nerve to get up and walk out on your job?
Well, today I did. I'm sure it was a step toward the right direction, however it has still left me sobbing like a big baby at the loss.

For those of you who are familiar with me or my blog, you know how much I've been bitching about my job lately. There are so many frustrating little things that I could go on for hours. I have, in fact, in my blog,

http://myheartsinarizona.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-hate-confrontation.html

go back and read for all the nitty gritty if you'd like, but I will try to sum it up quickly. I've worked there 3 years, and for 3 years I've been working my ASS off for them while others do nothing...literally. One texts or reads the paper, one chit chats it up with clients & ignore the phone, the other spitefully sits around reading a magazine to make me mad because she's unhappy that I get to tech instead of reception certain days of the week. I have been bitching about a lot of this for a long time, and came to the conclusion that if I cant change what's going on over there, then I can only change what I do. So I slowed down my work accordingly. And I got told well then your raise will reflect that. But then, everyone got the same pay raise, even the one that texts and reads the paper all the time and constantly leaves work unfinished.

Last week, the chit chat receptionist (aka office bitch) was doing nothing and I was working on documents, after I answered one call and pointed out that both phones were ringing said "yeah well that happens to me every morning." Bear in mind that this person will purposely put the phone lines on hold just so they don't ring. So, I did say Fuck You to her...not the most appropriate thing to say, but I was in back and I'd had enough. I'm a pretty tolerant person, I have to stuff down a LOT before I get beyond the breaking point. (I am so non confrontational, that I've taken time off and come in late just to avoid this crap.) And a couple days after that the office dipshit, sat and ate potato chips for half an hour just to spite me because I was working in back, and left for the post office without saying a word. When asked if she told me that she was going to the bank, she said "I'm not telling her shit." I told her she needs to start acting her age, not her teenage daughters.

So, today I get to work and there's a note in everyone's paycheck saying that there is a 'problem' with the cooperation, and blah blah cursing at others not tolerated, blah blah..(this note coming from boss's wife who's favorite word is Fuck...at kids birthday partys she's tellin people "I've got to take a fucking piss.")Seriously, if management would DO something about people instead of saying well, so and so is just so and so, just do your job and ignore them, then no one would get to the breaking point. Even their own niece is wanting out of there but is stuck because they pay her too much! And a note on the calendar that the afternhoon shift start an hour later than when I get there. Mind you, the boss's wife aka manager asked me to come in at that time so I could make my weekly hours.

So, I talk to boss, he says that cooperation should be mutual, blah blah, and that it's up to him to speak to others about what they do. And flat out told me that I don't do more than the others do. Which is totaly b.s. because I can prove it on paper, just invoices alone proves I get more people in and out of there, and do it MYSELF without someone having to babysit me. I told him that zen philosphy is fine about just do your job and nevermind, until neverminding cause you to be taken advantage of and dumped more work upon. I'm the one complaining about what's going on, so I'm the source of the problem? That's what it boils down to. And then when I brought up losing an hour every afternoon, and he flat out told me I don't do enough in that hour so it isn't necessary (Finding things to do in back to avoid the office bitch, and working on documents apparently doesn't qualify as work. Only if I'm doing someone else's job does it matter I guess.)At that point I lost it, and I walked out.

Ok, so I have had enough, and I'm removing the toxin from my spirit. Is it me against them? Am I making a bigger deal out of things like he insinuated? I'm expected to just let go of it, and do my job....That's what he said. I guess maybe on the surface it looks me agasint them....but if i've sucked up so much so that it wasn't, at what point am I not the source of the problem??

Am I?