1/4 mile at a time

I did it! I'm now officially a drag racer! I made my racing debut at the AMRA finals in Bowling Green Ky last weekend. I had been practicing and preparing most of the summer, but I had never had a real race until then. What a way to initiate myself! The AMRA finals, tons of spectators and record numbers of competitors. Talk about go big or go home! Another 'big dog' moment completed for me. (The kind of moment where I feel I'm pushing the limits of my ability & I tell myself "you wanted to run with the big dogs, don't get back on that porch now!")

The details: Going up to the registration booth not knowing who, what, where I was supposed to be was the start of my baptism by fire. Fortunately I had good friends to guide me. Studied the schedule, which may as well have been in latin, then had a whole night to make myself a mental case about it. Saturday morning I had about 2 hours to run test & tune. I delayed until I couldn't get away with it anymore, then got myself together and rode up to the line. My first trip down the track was nerve wracking, but when I got my times, I was fairly ok with it. I'd done better, but I've also done much worse. I managed to delay myself enough to only get a couple more passes in, I needed to take baby steps. Qualifying rounds were next. Lots of classes, I was participating in two. I spent a lot of time waiting in line, sitting in the sun wearing a helmet and leather sweating. Not a good hair day, to say the least. I managed to consistently run average times, and it frustrated me that I couldn't do better. I knew I was capable of a 12.3, but for the life of me I couldn't break 12.5 the whole weekend. The track was slick, and I had trouble with my back tire spinning too much. Sunday is race day. Do or die! I got a few test & tune runs in, still getting 12.5, but my last run was the best, a 12.53 (as opposed to the 12.56, .57, .58 i had done before) So, I set my dial in time for 12.53, my fastest time, figuring I hadn't gone faster than that all weekend, so why not. (For those of you not versed in drag racing, I raced in a division where basically, the rider that comes closest to their fastest time, without going over wins.) Mind you, I'm not all that much in the know yet either!
I got nervous again awaiting my very first REAL race. Another self talk...stay off the porch and run with those big dogs! I lined up, lit the staging lights, and GO! I gave it my best shot, and it felt pretty good through the whole run. I couldn't tell if I beat the other rider or not. Got to the turn off lane, rode to the booth, took my ticket, can't read it until I get to the pit, what torture! I get to the pit and the 'crew' I was with was smiling. I won??? Really? No way! How cool was that. I get to race again! Round two I was less nervous, gave it my best shot. I knew I beat the guy next to me. I broke out (went faster than my set time). Oh well, ya win some, you lose some. My mental win was, I just beat a bike that had a 1 second head start!
All those days of practice boiled down to two 1/4 mile trips down the track.

Now I just need to work on the 'game' aspect of racing. Watch the guy next to you, if you're going faster, pace yourself so you don't break out. It's a gamble, and a strategy kind of sport. I'll get there with experience, 1/4 mile at a time. I made measurable progress. It was a slick track, and I spun that back tire a LOT. I used to freak out and let off the throttle when that happened, and now I'm able to keep on it and ride it out. :)

Post race experience I had some time to reflect. I was amazed at the camaraderie of the racers at the AMRA's. I got a lot of thumbs up and fist bumps from perfect strangers and fellow competitors. I didn't know them, but they made me feel at home. I definitely want to go back! I also reflected on how fortunate I truly am. Not just in material things, but in physical ability, in the people who love me, and the fortunate opportunities. I have some awesome guardian angels up there, and I've witnessed proof of their existence. I had my key velcroed under my seat so the alarm wouldn't go off, and after putting it back up on the trailer, I noticed it had fallen down, and almost fell through the frame. If that had happened during a race it could have had some awful results. In questionable weather forecasts, I've been able to successfully get practice and racing in without weather being a factor. So, for all my blessings, thank you to God, the Universe, and to my wonderful Guardian Angels. I will do my best to keep learning and improving, one 1/4 mile at a time!

Racing Your Own Race

I’m not really sure where this blog post is going to lead, but let’s find out together.



I’m learning how to drag race with my motorcycle. I’ve always been the kind of girl that has seen something the boys are doing and said to myself, I can do that! Or if someone said you can’t do that, it’s just made me more determined to try it. Earlier this summer I visited my first motorcycle drag racing event. I saw some women having a great time and doing well holding their own. The little voice inside my head said ‘If they can do it, so can you!’ And so, the gears began to turn.
I’ve had 2 whole days experience at test and tune at the local drag strip, and several days practicing launching down the back roads in corn country. I’ve always been a chronic over achiever, determined to be good at what I do right from the start. I’m always looking for that nod of approval that indicates I’ve impressed someone. It’s a deep seated need for acceptance and admiration, that I’ve recently attributed to the ‘daddy issues’ many women carry. (I’ve had little contact with my father since my parents’ divorce when I was 6. Dad has his reasons for not staying in touch with me, and because he’s a volatile selfish person, I know I’m far better off, but it leaves a need within me nonetheless.)

I’m blessed enough to have several people that I know and talk to on the net who are experienced in drag racing, and qualified to give plenty of advice. I’m trying to absorb all that I can in as little time as possible. The problem with that is, there is too much of a good thing. Drag racing is something that you can only practice on a track. You can try things on the street, but it isn’t the same environment. The road isn’t sticky like the track, you have more things to be aware of for your safety on the road too. Practice makes perfect, but that’s hard to do when you’re limited. When you go to a test and tune, you’re in line waiting, so you only get so many tries to get it right. This weekend was my 2nd official real track experience. I did pretty well on my first go round. I was fairly pleased with myself. But this time, having had more input, and having someone there with me, helping me become aware of what I’m doing and what I can change, it made me totally conscious of all the elements I needed to work on. It’s great to have that kind of knowledge, but when you have half a second at the lights, and 12 seconds down the strip, all of that information going through your head tends to make things more complicated. Then add to all of that, the brief thought that all the power that you’re about to unleash is dangerous and could result in major disaster if you’re not careful, and it makes for one heck of a nerve wracking experience. So much to focus on, so much to put out of my head!

I did worse on this second attempt at the track, and it really frustrated me. Not terrible, but not better, and I had it fixed in my head that I did well the first try, so it should be nothing but improvement from here, and I expected it. The truth is, I was trying to do it all at once, take it all in, fix it all now, get better fast. I was trying to implement all the advice and knowledge at one time. Then, when things started going wrong, I had no foundation for knowing which thing was the issue with my poor performance. Because I was trying too many changes all at once, I was unable to pinpoint which thing was causing my trouble.

I got to thinking about how this can be applied to life as well. Lots of advice and opinions coming at me from all sorts of directions can be helpful and useable. However, if you try to do it all, and do it all now, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll see improvement, in fact, too often, that can lead to painful screw ups and lessons learned. It's best to focus on one thing at a time. It’s easy to do when you have unlimited time to try it all one thing at a time. But if you’re in a race to the finish line, you tend to be in a hurry to try as much as you can, and sometimes, that doesn’t have the results you were looking for. But, that being said, just because something doesn’t improve, doesn’t mean you should give up and stop trying. Tweak the changes, cut them down to manageable chunks, and be patient and look for improvement. Even the slightest improvement can be motivation to continue. And if you don’t see improvement, don’t give up, and don’t obsess, and by all means, don't compare yourself to anyone else. Analyze what you did, think about how it can be altered, or try something completely different, and watch for changes again. Life, like drag racing, is a learning process. Just because someone else beat you to the finish line, doesn’t mean that they’re better. For all you know, they didn’t do their best either, and they could be trying new things to make changes to get them in the right direction too.
Race your own race!

Introduction to Drag Racing

that's me, in the far lane :)

Well, after years of saying "I'd like to do that" I can add one more thing to the list of what I did the summer I played hookie. I'm trying my hand at drag racing.
I admit, I was scared to death. Not so much afraid of wrecking, or getting hurt, but afraid of looking stupid. That's something I've struggled with all of my life.
I'm a contradiction in terms, I love to turn heads, which you would think meant love to be looked at, right? I do like the "you did WHAT?!?" reaction, or the "Holy crap, that's a GIRL, how cool" look and or point. I get that a lot with my Night Rod Special. No matter where I go, someone at a light or in traffic either gives me a thumbs up, does a double take (one guy almost crashed his truck into a cement pillar because he was watching) or quite often, they stop someone in my group and ask questions about my bike. I love that...but really, I'm not one that likes to be looked at. I love to be impressive is more like it.
I've always had this over critical part of me, obsessing about being perfect. I know that I can't be perfect, and my appearance and my house are testaments to that knowledge, but I do like to be as good as the next guy...or in some cases, better.

So, anyway, a couple months ago, while watching friends race at the AMRA races in Bowling Green KY, after seeing a hand full of girls do well and have fun, I did the "if she can do that, so can I" speech in my head. A couple months later, here I am, learning to drag race.

I was coached on how to launch, and it was so frustrating because I was sure I wasn't doing it right because it wasn't this big dramatic frightening rocket experience. So I had someone else launch my bike for me. Turns out, I just had way too high of an expectation of the fear level on my part. I was doing it...needed to perfect it, but still, I was doing it. I practiced on back roads, but it isn't the same as a sticky drag strip with a light tree. I've gotten a lot of helpful information from several good friends, and I'm trying to keep them all in my head like a computer. Body position, staging, hand position, rpm, and psychological advice, and I'm thankful to all of you who are helping me. (Jase @hellcatcustoms, Brian from Valley Racing, Steve, Eddie, Tracy from Heathens & Hardheads Racing) I want to make you all proud of me.

My first attempt down the strip I was so not ready. Went to the tech, he looked at the bike, was told it was my very first time, so he let me go alone...but RIGHT NOW! I was like wait...no, I wanted to watch a couple people stage! But I wasn't going to be a baby and say something, so I went up there as directed, the good little soldier that I am. I staged too quickly and the light was green, GOOOOOO. I didn't go as fast as I could, I was told to take a slower trial run to get used to the track and the turn offs. I did a 13.5 with a reaction time of 1.009seconds.

My second pass, which is what I consider to be my 1st REAL pass... uh oh! I was against someone...a crotch rocket too! OMG. I staged much slower, inching my way forward, getting ready, got the rpm's up, and GONE, hauled ass to the end. The same happened the next time too. I was up against 140mph 10 second rockets! I managed to get my times in the mid 12's though. 12.34 my best, and my reaction time down to .7
I was having fun, still a little nervous, but getting better each try. It started to get dark, so my last 2 passes were fairly consecutive. The total times weren't better, but I was improving on my 60' times, so that's good. It got dark around then, so I decided to call it a night. It's bad enough to be flying 107mph down a track you don't really know, but when it's getting hard to see, I'll save that for when I'm more experienced.

Here are the stats:
1st real pass: RT - .73 / 60' - 1.873 / 1/4MI - 12.369 @ 100.86MPH
2ND: RT - .6968 / 60' - 1.9051 / 1/4MI - 12.3493 @ 107.87MPH
3RD: RT - .7387 / 60' - 1.9683 / 1/4MI - 12.4952 @ 106.18
4TH: RT - .7230 / 60' - 1.8429 / 1/4MI - 12.4548 @ 106.65MPH

All in all, I was pleased with myself. Not bad for a first timer. I impressed some of the boys I told my times to, that's good for me. My next goal, test and tune one more time, then it's off to Bowling Green KY the last weekend in September, to race in the AMRA finals! I'm aimin' high!!!

I usually try to tie in a life lesson or spiritual message to my blog posts, and this is what I've come up with. I was so nervous, fear of failure and the unknown had me making myself a bundle of nerves. But I had practiced and prepared, and in the end, it paid off. Everyone has to start somewhere, and we were all beginners in the beginning. You have to put your head down and press forward and do your best. If you do that, at the end, you just might impress someone, and yourself too! If you do your best, it will all be ok in the end :)



Btw, if you're interested in that sorta thing...I've separated my poetry to a new blog page, and there happens to be a new entry there as well, the link is at the top of this page.

A blessing and a curse

I scored tickets to a concert the other day. John Mayer is one of my favorite artists. He happens to be a fabulous entertainer. Every musician performs, but they don’t all ENTERTAIN. You can go to a concert and watch a band or a person play their music, and do it well, but they don’t all entertain. A true entertainer will engage the audience, cares about the people in front of them and the ones in the far back, they will take a chance and wander off the path of their usual boring stuff, and take an adventure, inviting their audience to come along. A fabulous journey. John Mayer is such an entertainer. He’s witty, funny, considerate and talented beyond measure. I could watch him play guitar for hours. When he plays, you can see him BECOME the guitar, the guitar becomes him. It’s like the music seeps out of his pores and beams all around him like glowing rays of sunlight. Other people may not like his songs, label them as girly music, or too soft, or too pop, but you really haven’t experienced what a talented musician he is until you’ve seen him play.

As I was sitting in probably the best seats I’ve ever had at a concert, I was far enough in front to be able to turn back and look out at the sea of faces. When the spotlights were out on the crows I could turn around and almost get a feeling for what it must be like being up there with thousands of people smiling and moving to the music. I am talentless, so there is no way I could ever really experience that, of course. But that got me to thinking…yeah, I know, ME think!?!? LOL There was an ocean of people simultaneously happy, enjoying life, savoring moments in that amphitheater that night, all there to see this one person, who is lucky enough to do what he loves, touch people's souls, and get paid a lot of money for it. What a blessing that must be. It is a blessing, but it’s also a curse.

I’ve followed John Mayer on twitter and facebook for some time. I really enjoy reading his posts. While many of his posts are silly, it does give you insight into his mind. He’s a very intelligent person, and silly too. I love that. He thinks of things that are so off the beaten path that you’re like how the HELL did he come up with THAT! He’s also mentioned things about his life that the rest of us probably wouldn’t think of. The price of being an entertainer is you’re on the road all the time. Living out of a suitcase, waking up in different hotels all the time. Aside from playing venues, there’s a lot of travel involved promoting your music, collaborating your creations, etc. and the sleeplessness. As an artist, when you go out there on stage, it’s a high, a rush, a wild ride. When you finish and the audience goes home, you can’t just turn that off, you have to let it wind itself down. And, aside from the other musicians who play with you, you’re all alone in the wee hours of the night, ringing ears and all, just waiting to come down. I can relate to the sleeplessness. Everyone else is comfortably in dreamland, it’s a quiet loneliness. Also a price of fame, your entire life is scrutinized, and it’s next to impossible to find someone who can accept and tolerate the lifestyle, the long distance relationship, the hours, the demands of a musician. Yes, some of them contributed to the demise of their relationships, but think about it, it’s almost a set up for failure from the beginning. Then there’s the lack of privacy, and the complete judgment by the general public. Paparazzi following you, quotes being taken out of context, and everything you say gets dissected and scrutinized. Granted, sometimes they say things they deserved to be called out on, but imagine how awful it must feel to have SO MANY people voicing their opinion of you. And last, but not least, the perks of fame, and the money, has to be an issue when you assess the people around you, to protect yourself from being taken advantage of.

The price of fame is steep, it’s a blessing and a curse. Just about everything in life comes with a price, or a curse, some small and insignificant, some much more serious. Sharing your love for animals and becoming a pet owner comes with the territory of commitment, clean up, and the cost of loving and losing, getting married, having a family limits your freedom and your finances, being a homeowner costs you time and maintenance, having a fantastic career can cost you a family or a delay in family. If all we did was think about the price of what we want out of life, we would never reach out for anything that we wanted. It’s what you do with the price, or how you allow the ‘curse’ to affect you that can increase or decrease the value of the blessing. Focus on the positive, don’t allow the downside that comes with that positive to pull you down, if the blessing you experienced was worth the effort, you can handle the downside. Eyes on the prize, and summon your inner strength to pull you through the rough stuff, and believe you are worthy of the blessing, have FAITH in yourself and the powers that be.


For you JM fans out there, here's a link to the pictures
PHOTOS

The Turbulece of Change & The Calm Before the Storm

I've just gotten home from a trip to Kansas City and Hannibal Mo. Normally the optimum choice for a long road trip like this would be to ride the longest leg or all the way to the destination on the first day while fresh, and break up the ride home into two days. But, due to weather, this ride was the exact opposite. It was a long 630 miles home, to say the least. Lots of time in the saddle to think about this blog post. But, actually, the title of the blog hit me in the first 50 miles, and the rest of it just fell into place as the trip unfolded.

While on the wide open highway I encountered so many Semi trailers, and experienced the turbulence associated with riding near them. I'd brace myself in anticipation of the wind that would throw me around, hold on tight and ride the storm until I got to clear air again. But I had to ride it out over and over again if I wanted to get where I was going. What a metaphor for life! Blissfully cruising along in a comfort zone, then something comes along to shake things up, and you have to hold on tight until it's over.

Change happens to everyone. Change always happens. There's change everywhere you look if you pay attention. Day changes to night, children change to adults, friendships come and go, businesses thrive and fail, births and deaths, even the earth is ever changing.

My first realizations of change on this road trip came when I was checking out the Rockcliffe Mansion. Built between 1898 and 1900, the owners paid 100 carpenters $1 a day plus meals for 2 years. The house was built on the hill to overlook the Mississippi River. Now, from the front porch the view is obstructed by many buildings constructed over the years. You can't really see the river at all. Secondly, while riding the riverboat touring the river and hearing stories and facts, I found myself thinking about how the banks of this river must have changed over the past 100 years, and how many buildings have been flooded away, and how they must have had to learn the hard way what was a safe distance to build. Mark Twain (Samuel Clements) grew up in Hannibal, Mo. where he, like most other boys dreamed of becoming a riverboat pilot. He lived his dream and traveled up & down the river for 4 years, 2 as an apprentice, and 2 as a pilot. During the war, Riverboats were being shot at, and not liking that experience, he quit. Eventually he would become famous for writing The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Fin. A change for the better.

On the obligatory trip to the Harley Dealer after crossing the Kansas border, more change was encountered. The dealership had recently been purchased by an owner from Arizona. Racks of clothes that bear the name of the old dealer on clearance, I loved it! Change for the better, and good deals!

Next up, Harley Davidson's Powertrain Operations Facility tour. First off, you watch a movie on the history of Harley Davidson. In 1969 Harley Davidson merged with AMF, and then in 1981 13 executives bought the company back. However, by 1987 the company was only hours away from bankruptcy, and in 1988 Harley Davidson was the most purchased motorcycle, with over 1000 dealerships. Change from one extreme to the other. Also changing, Harley comes up with the liquid cooled Revolution engine. There are many naysayers out there that frown upon the V-rod, but the changes allow it to have the most horsepower. At first, I didn't care for the new V-rods, the ugly silver & how tall they were...but then they came out with the black beauty Night Rod Special, and I changed my mind!

So, the common thread here is things can be quiet for a long time, and make sure you enjoy it. Change will happen, there is no avoiding it. Most of the time, though, eventually the changes lead to something better. And just like an overflowing river, or a failing company or personal hardship, if you hold on tight and ride the storm, you should come out the other side better for it.

In many ways, right now in my life, this seems like the calm before the storm. I'm sitting idle, listening and watching for signs of what to do next. That just might lead to a lot of change, hopefully for the better. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it will happen without turbulence. I might have to hold on tight for a while in order to get to where I really want to be, but it will be for the better.


p.s.
If you're interested in the dreaded vacation photos of my ride to Kansas, Missouri & Illinois, the pictures can be found here :
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2052136&id=1271155693

Just relax

I'm now two months into the enjoy life project. Every day I try to find something that makes me feel good or happy, no matter how little or 'insignificant' it may be. So far I've taken inventory of the smells of flowers, the color of farm fields and trees, storm clouds, freshly paved and curvy roads, the joy my dogs bring me, the taste of Rocky Road ice cream, all the little things that go by unnoticed on a normal day. I don't know if it's a result of paying attention and filling myself with happy moments, or if it's just the fact that I'm away from an extremely stressful job and free to do whatever I want whenever I want, but I feel lighter, happier. I still have major problems, don't get me wrong, but I do feel that because I'm taking note of the good stuff, I feel better, and better things are happening. So I'm looking forward to the snowball effect of joy, and eager to find out what's next. Which brings me to the subject of this blog entry.

I've touched on this subject before, so it may be a little redundant, but my recent road trip has again caused me to be conscious of being present. This time I realized that I have this habit of leaning in forward motion. It's a physical and mental manifestation that I must get to the next point, and I must do everything in a timely manner. I'm always in some degree of hurry!

While riding from Home to Sharon, Pa (410 miles) I didn't see it. It was leave early, get there before dark, no problem, the usual plan. The next day, the plan was to ride to DuBois Harley in DuBois Pa. then go straight north through New York state to hit Lake Erie and ride the shoreline as far as possible, stopping in Cleveland OH. to stay over and visit the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, then ride the rest of the way home. All in all it was 1200 miles in 3 days. On the second day, after visiting the the Harley dealer, on the way to the lake, I kept feeling myself mentally, and physically leaning forward in a hurry. I thought to myself...why? There are no set plans, the trip is about enjoying the lake and the view, so stop that! I'd stop for a little while, then find myself in that tensed up hurried state again. Several times I had to make a concentrated effort to stop doing that. I had no deadline to meet, just to get to Cleveland to stay over at no specific time. So why on earth was I always feeling like I HAD to get there and I had to do it NOW? I've been like that my whole life. I need to STOP THAT. Pay attention to what is now, just relax, dammit and enjoy the good stuff while you can. All this time of ignoring that, now it's such a habit, it's an involuntary reflex. That is going to be a hard one to break!

So, here are a few observations and thoughts, the highlights of the road trip:
Travel through Pa & Ny was very hilly and mountainous. Not as steep as the mountains on the way to Grand Canyon, mind you, but still steep. I found myself in what I call a "Big Dog Moment" It's that moment where you realize that if you're going to run with the big dogs you gotta get off the porch! I was riding the highway and there were semi trucks everywhere. Fine, I've dealt with them before. I never ride along side a semi (advice from a truck driver..never, not even with your car) I catch up, hang for a minute, then throttle it past. But, add steep downgrades and twisty roads to the mix. Eh, not so bad, doable, right? Then put all that together with grated road construction, going 75mph! Tension indeed. Another 'graduation' for me. Been there, done that, don't care to find myself in that position again! I'm sure I will though, and I'll have the confidence that it can be done. I spent about 4o miles behind a dump truck full of dirt. That was painful. Free microdermabrasion, I figure I must look a few years younger now!

The Allegheny National Forest was really pretty to ride through. I've never seen so many trees in my life it's SO GREEN over there. As a person who has lived their entire life in the Plains, I find that I marvel at non flat ground and winding roads. Everything here is a grid, North South, East West, easy navigation, no confusion. Riding through mountains...not so much! It was beautiful, I tried the best I could to take pictures, but riding those roads did not allow for much picture taking! (Kids, don't try this at home) I tied the camera around my neck, and stuffed it down my shirt when I wasn't snapping. A great use of cleavage, sometimes it's good to be a girl! So I indiscriminately snapped away when I felt safe enough to take my left hand off the grip.

Here's an interesting note. So, I spent a lot of time making myself not be in a hurry, but then it started to get late, and I had to hurry to get to the hotel, because it was clouding up...and get this...lightning. For those of you who haven't followed my blog, my Mom loved lightning. The morning after she passed it stormed like crazy. I said that must be Mom up there saying do that again! Back in Feb I took some of her ashes to Arizona to hike my favorite mountain, scattered some ashes into the wind at the top of the trail. The next night...it stormed like crazy in the desert! So, I took a road trip to Memphis, cuz Mom LOVED Elvis. Decided at the last minute to take some ashes. While I was retrieving them I said, hey Mom, no storms this time, ok? Storms on a bike are not cool. If you must, lightning is fine...but no rain, ok? Well, rolling into Memphis as it was getting dark, first heat lightning, then bolts across the sky. It misted for 2 minutes, just enough to get a few spots on my tank, and then nothing else. Lightning, no rain. Coinkydink?
Anyway...on this trip I did not take ashes with me. I'm done with the spiritual travels. So the lightning must have been random, right? Well, it got chilly, I put my jacket on, reached into my pocket and in it was a little stone from Superstition Mountain that I had picked up on my way down from my hike. I had forgotten I had put it in my jacket because I was going to bring it back in the house. I thought I had lost it. I asked the heavens, please don't let it rain until after I'm safely in the hotel room. I got there, checked in, went across the street to eat a very late dinner, and when I walked out the door, it had rained and stopped! Anyway, read into it what you will, but I find it fascinating.

The visit to The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland OH was really nice. You could spend 3 hours there taking in the movies and video exhibits there. I did not, however, as that was the same day I was riding the rest of the way home. I loved the exhibits of clothing and instruments, I found it fascinating that these musicians who were bigger than life in my mind, were actually very small in stature, or very skinny by looking at their clothes. But I was mostly moved by the articles from those gifted artists who were gone, taken from us all too soon. As I approached them, I got goosebumps. I loved reading the writings of the musicians, the lyrics in the making of songs I knew and loved, right there in their own handwriting. There was a display of Jim Morrison, the receipt of his plot in Pere La Chaise cemetery in France, lyrics from Crawling King Snake, a hand made Mother's Day card and a short note he had made in school when he was just a child. It said something like I can't tell you how much I appreciate all you do for me and I love you. So sweet. I was not a big Doors fan, but after finding things out about Jim Morrison, and watching the movie of course, I was infatuated with what a deep thinking and complicated person he was. Another gift of genius lost to us far too soon. I got the same chills at John Lennon's piano, Janis Joplin's scarves and a fringed white leather vest, Michael Jackson's Thriller jacket, Jimmy Hendrix's couch with the cigarette (maybe lol) burn in it, and his fantastic cape. Not so much on the Elvis stuff, because I had just been to Graceland not that long ago. But I still felt the profound feeling of loss when looking at the articles of those who are no longer with us. A "what a shame" sadness.

There was this kick ass Pink Floyd The Wall display there too. Out in the middle of the escalators to the building. You were not allowed to take pictures in there. But of course I'm a rebel, and I snapped a couple of the wall. This wall (pictures in the link at the bottom of this blog) was huge, had a big blow up character in limbo from the ceiling, the armchair with the televison, the Hammer Flags, from the movie The Wall.

It read:
"In the old days, pre Dark Side of the moon, Pink Floyd played to audiences, which, by virtue of their size, allowed an intimacy of connection that was magical. However, success overtook us and by 1977 we were playing in football stadiums...the magic crushed beneath the weight of the numbers we were becoming addicted to the trappings of popularity
I found myself increasingly alienated in that atmosphere of avarice (insatiable greed for riches) and ego, until one night, in the Olympic Stadium in Montreal, the boil of my frustrations burst. Some crazed teenage fan was clawing his way up the storm netting that separated us from the human cattle pen in front of the stage, screaming his devotion to the 'demi-gods' beyond his reach. Incensed by his misunderstanding and my own connivance I spat my frustration in his face. Later that night, back at the hotel, shocked with my behavior, I was faced with a choice. To deny my addiction and embrace that 'comfortably numb', but 'magicless existence', or accept the burden of insight, take the road less traveled, and embark on the often painful journey to discover who I was and where I fit. The Wall was the picture I drew for myself to help me make that choice." Roger Waters, Summer, 1995
I sat down in awe and amazement, not just at the display, but at the profoundness of his words. WOW, I just had to sit a while and take it in.

After that, the ride home was very scenic. Traveled as much of Lake Erie Lake shore as I could, lots of HUGE houses that backed up to the lake. You couldn't see much of the lake itself, but the houses were fantastic. Stopped over at Cedar Point (huge amusement park out on a large peninsula) to snap a pic or two of the lake, and again at a parking lot to see the amusement park in the distance, and then the rest of the way home was praying not to intercept the looming storm. That didn't work, but luckily the wind whipped it past quickly, and after hiding under an overpass, it was throttle down the rest of the way home.

For 150 miles I got to watch the sun set. A spectacular display of a kaleidoscope of pastel colors ever changing as time went by. The sun with it's giant beams of light piercing through the clouds. It reminded me of a thousand spot lights shining all around the cloud creating a halo of beams. Whenever I can actually see the rays of the sun, it reminds me of a Rush song that I used to like..."The shifting shafts of shining weave the fabric of their dreams" A large cloud covering most of the sun, rays peeking out upward and down. Above the sun, pastel oranges like dreamcicles, and gold, below shades of pastel lilac and baby blues. As the sun moved slightly over time, so did the colors. It was really beautiful. I could have stopped and watched it for hours. God, The Universe, Mother Earth, and Life, indeed a spectacular sight to behold, and I am blessed to have the ability to bear witness.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2050283&id=1271155693 1200 miles in 3 days pictures

Meant To Be

I haven't blogged in some time now, aside from the loss of a friend, I haven't really felt anything powerful enough to compell me to write. So, instead of leaving my blog idle, I decided to post another piece of poetry written some time ago.


Meant To Be

There is a love that’s unlike any other
Love never before felt with another
It’s urgent and tender, spontaneous and deliberate
It’s crazy and normal, it’s forbidden and desperate
These feelings run deep
The heart never sleeps
Deep in my heart, a part of my soul
It consumes all I am, it’s all that I know
It was meant to be
I heard the universe tell me
At first it just whispered
I tried to ignore it, But it wouldn’t let me
It screamed louder, “in time you will see”
I chased it away, because I was scared
To love with all I am, only to lose is not fair
But universe brought me back, this time stronger
Sweet destiny come quickly, I can’t wait any longer