Daddy's Little Girls

It's a crappy rain day, and I'm sitting here feeling lonely and without ambition. Even my dogs went right back to bed after breakfast. So I'm sitting here at my computer, and that lead me to this:

A conversation was sparked today from a picture a friend posted of his daughter on Facebook. He called her his princess.
I told him that every little girl deserves a devoted Dad, to feel she’s the center of his world and would give her anything, to teach her what she should look for in a man to love. Without that, a girl will spend her whole life finding out the hard way. I speak of experience on that one, and I’m not alone.

My parents bitterly divorced when I was just starting first grade. I remember very little of that period in our lives. I know that my Mom ‘ran away’ in the middle of the night with just the clothes on our backs, and there are few pictures or mementos of our lives until after that point. I was 7 years old when that happened. I do remember seeing him a couple of weekends, and feeling like I was unwelcome in what used to be MY house. He was physically abusive to my Mom, and she only left him because she was afraid he would do it to me. I remember feeling paralyzed against a wall watching him in a drunken rage, punching holes through a tile wall, breaking up the furniture and throwing it out the back door. My Mom even said he took a 2x4 and broke my Great Dane’s leg. My other memories of him were getting arrested at a carnival because he wouldn’t throw away his beer, us leaving a nice restaurant, making a scene because the service wasn’t fast enough, and being arrested at our 4th of July barbecue for selling fireworks. The last memory I had of him was after the divorce, when he took me Christmas shopping and told me to buy anything I wanted. I had a field day with that. But, when I got home, at the tender age of 7, I saw the disappointment in my Mom’s eyes as I showed her the very things she had bought me for gifts. I felt so bad I told her, “It’s ok Mom, I can play with two Barbie airplanes.” Later in life, I realized he did that, not to make me happy, but to hurt my Mother.
I looked him up when I was in high school. I found out really quickly that for him to be the ‘giving devoted Dad’ that every girl wants, I needed to have an audience. I saw him a few times, and when I brought someone with me, he showed off and acted like the generous, devoted Dad that I wanted him to be. I saw him a few times, he gave me a few bucks, and we had a few dinners.
I married at the age of 20, had my Son a year later, he saw him once when he was 6 months old. Prior to that he berated me for getting pregnant with no insurance. I stopped reaching out to him, and I never heard from him again.
As I’ve mentioned, October is a horrible month for me, having lost my Mother. I get lonely, having a tiny, disappearing family. In my weak moments, I’ve allowed myself to write to my Dad twice. First, about a year after my Mom passed, and just this past month or so. I’m not surprised I haven’t heard from him, and only half disappointed, as I know that having him in my life is only going to lead to more hurt feelings. Better off without him, I know this.

But still, when I see a woman who’s Dad has always given her everything , dancing at her wedding, I tell myself I’m stronger for my experiences, but the bitterness and envy is in the background. I’m happy for them, and very sad for me.

So, for all you Dads out there listen up:
Always show them and tell them how much you love them, and how proud you are of them. Tell them they can do and be anything that they want to be. Make them aware of the truth that they are worth having a man who will treat them like gold and do anything for them, and they should not tolerate any less. Girls can always subject themselves to less than desirable treatment at the hands of men in the name of love, but the ones that have no example will believe they don’t deserve and better, or that there isn’t anything better out there. There is a very popular John Mayer song, “Fathers be good to your daughters, for daughters will love like you do.” And it is the truth. Daddy issues can leave a girl so desperate for love and approval that she will subject herself to ANYTHING just to find it.

A devoted Daddy can foster the greatest confidence and pride, a strong sense of self and security, and the understanding that they can reach for the stars, and if they fall, someone will always be there to catch them. That could be the difference that causes her to strive for the very best in life, not being afraid to try, for fear of failure or humiliation. The difference between happiness, and misery is in your hands. Give them the knowledge of how they should be respected and loved, and the tools of confidence to accept nothing less, and the courage to leave no stone unturned.
She will be a different woman, and have a totally different life if you do. The best life possible is a gift that lies in your hands.
And to the fathers of boys: Teach them well, for they learn how to treat a woman from YOU.

And for those of us 'little girls' out there who are lacking in the above...YOU are wonderful, fabulous, and STRONG...just because you didn't have someone there to tell you this your whole life, only makes you stronger. You DESERVE everything your heart desires, and don't let ANYONE convince you otherwise, especially not yourself.

Dear Mom, Revisited

Below are excerpts of a letter to my Mother from a prior blog post. My Mom loved the fall, so everything now reminds me of her. She loved the fall, and loved to go out looking at the leaves, so every day in October reminds me of her.
I'm revisiting my letter today, which would have been my Mom's 68th birthday, and my thoughts are heavily with her.

Dear Mom
I miss you so much there aren't words enough to say.
You were my hero and I didn't even know it. You were strong enough to leave an abusive relationship, not for yourself, but for me. You saved yourself because of your maternal need to save your child from harm. You were the original Working Single Mother. I am a Mother, and I cannot imagine the feelings and fears you must have had, worrying about bills and raising a child, all the while working downtown Chicago, making it on your own. I don't remember wanting for anything during those early difficult times, so you must have sacrificed so much for my happiness' sake. And for that I am eternally grateful. Single working Mothers were few and far between back in 1974, you were a trail blazer. You never remarried, and, as far as I know, never had another relationship after the divorce, so I can't even begin to fathom the loneliness you must have felt for those 30+ years. But I feel lonely and lost without you now, so I can imagine to a degree.

The world isn't the same without you. When I had to admit you to the nursing home, I almost had a mental breakdown right there in the hallway. Going there to have luncheons with you on Mother's Day and holidays, I thought I was sad then, and now I catch myself wishing for those 'sad' days.

I am sad, however it is a more profound feeling than just sad. It's a deep gaping hole in my heart...no, it's in my soul. There isn't much to our little family. Your brother who makes an appearance every couple of years, and your sister who tries to remember to call and check on me here and there, but has her own life with her new husband and new family. And of course, my Son, your Grandson...well, I hope that one day he comes around and decides he understands what he's doing and starts respecting himself and those around him. Maybe one day he'll come around and love his Mother again. I am truly sorry if I ever made you feel even a fraction of the disappointment or unhappiness that I have found myself feeling as a Mother. Aside from having a few friends you didn't approve of, and a snide remark here and there though, I think we were ok, right?

You've been gone 4 years now, and it still hurts like yesterday, I'm just better at stuffing it in than I was before. I still feel like I'm 5 years old and lost in the mall again. Only now, I know that there isn't anyone out there that can come save me. Right after you passed, my first words were, "Now what am I supposed to do." I meant about the whole nursing home, belongings, funeral, arrangements, etc...but also the who am I without you part too.

A Dad who only loves himself, both Grandparents deceased, and no Mother....
Having your family leave one by one, feels like they are threads connecting you, holding you down to the earth, and each time one dies, a thread gets cut. Mom, when I lost you it felt like the last single thread holding me down to existence was cut, and I found myself floating aimlessly in space, unsure now where I belong, and unable to go back to where I came from, and no one to reach out to show me the way.

I miss you....MISS...it's a insignificant little word...until now. Now I know better.

As years go by, I'm more capable of compartmentalizing and distracting my feelings, they are, and always will be there. I do my best when 'historical' dates come around to distract or do something that will make me 'happy'. But you and how much I miss you will never be off my mind.

I loved you, even when I didn't show it enough.
I needed you, even when I pushed you away.
And I miss you, and will miss you even when it's been too many years to count
Love,
Your Only Child

*note to my blog readers*
I share this letter with you, not only to share the thoughts in my head, but to remind you all to Love, Honor and Cherish your Mother, no matter what your circumstances with her are. Because when she is gone, it's all gone. You'll have a question about the family past, or some silly thing way before your time, and your first instinct will be I need to ask...and then..it will hit you:
there isn't anyone left to answer that....that tidbit of trivia that you just pondered will never be answered, it's gone now. GONE

It's been years now, and that sort of thing still happens to me all the time.
The missing part....it is forever missing....your soul is missing a piece, and you will not get it back until you are reunited in the afterlife. Don't wait until then, to enjoy and savor what you have here and now while you still can

Daunting Tasks, Amazing Results

Lately I've been making a half hearted attempt at meditation. I'm intrigued at the thought of being still and becoming closer to the vibrations of the universe. I have difficulty with sitting still and not thinking, it's a daunting task for me. It's hard to focus on universal vibrations when I'm focusing on focusing!

The weather this week has been a glorious gift. By now it should be in the 50's for an average. It's been sunny and 70's for days. I'm loving it! I've been stuck in the house the past couple days, there's been a mad gunman at large. I live in Northwest Indiana, and apparently a guy has been indiscriminantly shooting people, and was last seen in my town, not that far from my house. He's killed one, and injured 3, one of them shot in the head in critical condition. It's a bi-state manhunt, but so far, it's been to no avail. A lot of farmland and rural roads around here, it's a dunting task. But, in spite of the wide spread fear, I made it a point to go outside, sit in the sun and soak up the gifts of the universe.

One of my favorite things is to lay down on my deck swing and feel the warmth of the sun, while swinging and looking up at the sky. The sky was completely void of just about everything. (Over the past couple days, there has been a LOT of helicopters circling) All was a welcoming quiet. While looking at the brilliant blue sky, I caught a flicker of a sparkle out of the corner of my eye. Upon further inspection, I could see it was a spider's webbing. It had to be a good 4 feet from the top of my deck swing down to the deck railing. It got me to thinking about how amazing it is that a tiny little spider can take a delicate string and make a stretch that far. I watched the breeze blow it back and forth. The spider had to have descended down, then waited for the right timing when the breeze took it a good distance and then in perfect timing dropped the rest of it's string to reach the deck railing. Then I looked behind me and saw the early stages of a web sparkling in the sun. So delicate, such hard work. I wonder how many times it's plan failed or looked too impossible to try. Wow, that's amazing. Ok, here's where I admit I really hate spiders, and I started getting the heebie jeebies thinking they were crawling on me, so I started thinking I should probably get up. As I looked above me one last time to enjoy the sparkles, I saw the tiny white-ish spider dangling from a string, swinging back & forth with the breeze. Still not giving up. Yep, amazing little creature, amazing accomplishments.

I saw a large flock of little birds, flapping their wings furiously and shooting across the sky. The bright sun almost made it appear as they're wings had bright yellow on them. I think it was just the sun, as I've never seen that type of bird in that number in this area before. Another natural phenomenon. That must take a lot of effort, and must be really tiring to flap wings that furiously. What a daunting task to fly south for the winter. But that's what life is for them, so they don't give up.

Just before I got up I managed to see 3 different planes in the air. One was a small plane, and two were the large kind that cut a blazing white trail through the blue sky. All that metal, all that weight, and yet it flies through the air. What a daunting task it was for two men to take that from imagination to reality. Truly amazing. How many times did that project look doomed, or have huge setbacks. Where would we be if they gave up when it got difficult?

A tiny spider making a massive (in comparison to it's size) web, a single idea, into a massive airplane. Lessons in life before my very eyes. It can look like a daunting task, but you have to keep going forward to get where you want to be. The universe is huge, and you are just one person, but your impact upon the world, and yourself, is of the utmost importance. Don't give up on yourself or the universe!

Upon us all a little rain must fall

I have been doing fairly well over the past few months focusing on my 'enjoy life project' and looking for the positive in everything. I am, by nature, a summer kind of person, and when it comes to an end, I tend to get a little down. But, the month of October in particular has even more of a profound effect on me than just disappointment that summer is over. I've posted about it in full detail on my blog before: my first ever blog post So Now What: http://myheartsinarizona.blogspot.com/2009/10/everybodys-bloggingso-what-hell.html

I will try to provide a brief explanation for those of you who aren't familiar.
Four years ago life as I knew it began to fall apart. Aside from having to put 2 of my beloved animals to sleep due to separate health problems, my Mom, who was barely 64 and in a nursing home for the past few years became incapable physically doing much of anything for herself, became sick and begged me to let her die. The illness was a simple urinary tract infection which was rectified with iv antibiotics, but she was placed in restraints because she kept fidgeting the iv tubing out. She grabbed my arm and said "I love you, I love you, I don't want to live like this"
So, the next time she got an infection, I had to tell them to let her be. It was what she wanted. As if that wasn't bad enough, two months later, the job that I identified myself with sold, and the new owner was unbearable, and within weeks everyone quit. One would think that was enough too, but of course, there's more. A few months after that, I was betrayed by the very people that were closest to me, and I had to write them out of my life. And my relationship with my Son became extremely strained and volatile at the same time. Whew, a lot on my plate.

I try not to let all of this 'stuff' define me, I know I am much more than the adversity that I have faced, and that others have faced so much more than I. I do my best to focus on something else as much as I can. It's just this time of year that, in spite of my efforts to stay occupied by other things, it always creeps up on me at some point. October 3rd is the day my Mom passed away, and the 22nd is her birthday. She loved the fall and the changing leaves and cool temperatures.
So this time of year she is always on my mind.

I've come to realize that the pain will always hurt as if it was yesterday, but with time it gets less frequent, and that I should start celebrating all that my Mom loved, and not focus on all the loss that I feel. But, without a Mother, a child feels lost. I have my dark and stormy days, and I'm fully aware that I should not allow it to consume me. I'm doing the best that I can to occupy myself, but it still manages to creep up on me. Riding season is all but over, so the regular 2 wheel therapy ride to blow out the cobwebs of my mind is sporadic, weather permitting.

I need to revel in all that she loved, and find comfort in the fact that she is watching over and protecting me from above. I know she wants me to be safe and happy. I may have lost her in my physical world, but I have gained the best Guardian Angel one could ever ask for. I've seen the proof several times over.

Today was a tough day for me, I found myself easily aggitated and unhappy. The weather was horrible. Cold, windy, raw and rainy. On my travels for a little retail therapy, the sky was ugly in every direction I could look. I came out of the store in the driving rain to see the sun shining brightly from one space between the clouds. The western part of the sky began to break and the light was blinding. Ominous ugly black clouds in 3 directions, and sunlight from the west turned into a beautiful double WHOLE rainbow. You don't get to see full rainbows all that often. The sky around it was dark and depressing, but the brilliantly cheerful colors sliced through dark clouds in an arc, and seemed to glow with beaming light. I looked in awe as if I had never seen one before. I found myself interested in the exact circumstances that brought this piece of beauty to be. I know I've learned about this phenomenon in school as a child, but I couldn't help but be amazed. A little miracle in the sky. A gift from above.

My conclusion, that no matter how gloomy a situation is presenting itself around you, no matter how depressing and ugly it may seem in every direction, this too, shall pass. There will be a break in the clouds, an illumination of light, and if you're lucky, you will find colorful joy. Look for it, find it, and savor it.

1/4 mile at a time

I did it! I'm now officially a drag racer! I made my racing debut at the AMRA finals in Bowling Green Ky last weekend. I had been practicing and preparing most of the summer, but I had never had a real race until then. What a way to initiate myself! The AMRA finals, tons of spectators and record numbers of competitors. Talk about go big or go home! Another 'big dog' moment completed for me. (The kind of moment where I feel I'm pushing the limits of my ability & I tell myself "you wanted to run with the big dogs, don't get back on that porch now!")

The details: Going up to the registration booth not knowing who, what, where I was supposed to be was the start of my baptism by fire. Fortunately I had good friends to guide me. Studied the schedule, which may as well have been in latin, then had a whole night to make myself a mental case about it. Saturday morning I had about 2 hours to run test & tune. I delayed until I couldn't get away with it anymore, then got myself together and rode up to the line. My first trip down the track was nerve wracking, but when I got my times, I was fairly ok with it. I'd done better, but I've also done much worse. I managed to delay myself enough to only get a couple more passes in, I needed to take baby steps. Qualifying rounds were next. Lots of classes, I was participating in two. I spent a lot of time waiting in line, sitting in the sun wearing a helmet and leather sweating. Not a good hair day, to say the least. I managed to consistently run average times, and it frustrated me that I couldn't do better. I knew I was capable of a 12.3, but for the life of me I couldn't break 12.5 the whole weekend. The track was slick, and I had trouble with my back tire spinning too much. Sunday is race day. Do or die! I got a few test & tune runs in, still getting 12.5, but my last run was the best, a 12.53 (as opposed to the 12.56, .57, .58 i had done before) So, I set my dial in time for 12.53, my fastest time, figuring I hadn't gone faster than that all weekend, so why not. (For those of you not versed in drag racing, I raced in a division where basically, the rider that comes closest to their fastest time, without going over wins.) Mind you, I'm not all that much in the know yet either!
I got nervous again awaiting my very first REAL race. Another self talk...stay off the porch and run with those big dogs! I lined up, lit the staging lights, and GO! I gave it my best shot, and it felt pretty good through the whole run. I couldn't tell if I beat the other rider or not. Got to the turn off lane, rode to the booth, took my ticket, can't read it until I get to the pit, what torture! I get to the pit and the 'crew' I was with was smiling. I won??? Really? No way! How cool was that. I get to race again! Round two I was less nervous, gave it my best shot. I knew I beat the guy next to me. I broke out (went faster than my set time). Oh well, ya win some, you lose some. My mental win was, I just beat a bike that had a 1 second head start!
All those days of practice boiled down to two 1/4 mile trips down the track.

Now I just need to work on the 'game' aspect of racing. Watch the guy next to you, if you're going faster, pace yourself so you don't break out. It's a gamble, and a strategy kind of sport. I'll get there with experience, 1/4 mile at a time. I made measurable progress. It was a slick track, and I spun that back tire a LOT. I used to freak out and let off the throttle when that happened, and now I'm able to keep on it and ride it out. :)

Post race experience I had some time to reflect. I was amazed at the camaraderie of the racers at the AMRA's. I got a lot of thumbs up and fist bumps from perfect strangers and fellow competitors. I didn't know them, but they made me feel at home. I definitely want to go back! I also reflected on how fortunate I truly am. Not just in material things, but in physical ability, in the people who love me, and the fortunate opportunities. I have some awesome guardian angels up there, and I've witnessed proof of their existence. I had my key velcroed under my seat so the alarm wouldn't go off, and after putting it back up on the trailer, I noticed it had fallen down, and almost fell through the frame. If that had happened during a race it could have had some awful results. In questionable weather forecasts, I've been able to successfully get practice and racing in without weather being a factor. So, for all my blessings, thank you to God, the Universe, and to my wonderful Guardian Angels. I will do my best to keep learning and improving, one 1/4 mile at a time!

Racing Your Own Race

I’m not really sure where this blog post is going to lead, but let’s find out together.



I’m learning how to drag race with my motorcycle. I’ve always been the kind of girl that has seen something the boys are doing and said to myself, I can do that! Or if someone said you can’t do that, it’s just made me more determined to try it. Earlier this summer I visited my first motorcycle drag racing event. I saw some women having a great time and doing well holding their own. The little voice inside my head said ‘If they can do it, so can you!’ And so, the gears began to turn.
I’ve had 2 whole days experience at test and tune at the local drag strip, and several days practicing launching down the back roads in corn country. I’ve always been a chronic over achiever, determined to be good at what I do right from the start. I’m always looking for that nod of approval that indicates I’ve impressed someone. It’s a deep seated need for acceptance and admiration, that I’ve recently attributed to the ‘daddy issues’ many women carry. (I’ve had little contact with my father since my parents’ divorce when I was 6. Dad has his reasons for not staying in touch with me, and because he’s a volatile selfish person, I know I’m far better off, but it leaves a need within me nonetheless.)

I’m blessed enough to have several people that I know and talk to on the net who are experienced in drag racing, and qualified to give plenty of advice. I’m trying to absorb all that I can in as little time as possible. The problem with that is, there is too much of a good thing. Drag racing is something that you can only practice on a track. You can try things on the street, but it isn’t the same environment. The road isn’t sticky like the track, you have more things to be aware of for your safety on the road too. Practice makes perfect, but that’s hard to do when you’re limited. When you go to a test and tune, you’re in line waiting, so you only get so many tries to get it right. This weekend was my 2nd official real track experience. I did pretty well on my first go round. I was fairly pleased with myself. But this time, having had more input, and having someone there with me, helping me become aware of what I’m doing and what I can change, it made me totally conscious of all the elements I needed to work on. It’s great to have that kind of knowledge, but when you have half a second at the lights, and 12 seconds down the strip, all of that information going through your head tends to make things more complicated. Then add to all of that, the brief thought that all the power that you’re about to unleash is dangerous and could result in major disaster if you’re not careful, and it makes for one heck of a nerve wracking experience. So much to focus on, so much to put out of my head!

I did worse on this second attempt at the track, and it really frustrated me. Not terrible, but not better, and I had it fixed in my head that I did well the first try, so it should be nothing but improvement from here, and I expected it. The truth is, I was trying to do it all at once, take it all in, fix it all now, get better fast. I was trying to implement all the advice and knowledge at one time. Then, when things started going wrong, I had no foundation for knowing which thing was the issue with my poor performance. Because I was trying too many changes all at once, I was unable to pinpoint which thing was causing my trouble.

I got to thinking about how this can be applied to life as well. Lots of advice and opinions coming at me from all sorts of directions can be helpful and useable. However, if you try to do it all, and do it all now, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll see improvement, in fact, too often, that can lead to painful screw ups and lessons learned. It's best to focus on one thing at a time. It’s easy to do when you have unlimited time to try it all one thing at a time. But if you’re in a race to the finish line, you tend to be in a hurry to try as much as you can, and sometimes, that doesn’t have the results you were looking for. But, that being said, just because something doesn’t improve, doesn’t mean you should give up and stop trying. Tweak the changes, cut them down to manageable chunks, and be patient and look for improvement. Even the slightest improvement can be motivation to continue. And if you don’t see improvement, don’t give up, and don’t obsess, and by all means, don't compare yourself to anyone else. Analyze what you did, think about how it can be altered, or try something completely different, and watch for changes again. Life, like drag racing, is a learning process. Just because someone else beat you to the finish line, doesn’t mean that they’re better. For all you know, they didn’t do their best either, and they could be trying new things to make changes to get them in the right direction too.
Race your own race!

Introduction to Drag Racing

that's me, in the far lane :)

Well, after years of saying "I'd like to do that" I can add one more thing to the list of what I did the summer I played hookie. I'm trying my hand at drag racing.
I admit, I was scared to death. Not so much afraid of wrecking, or getting hurt, but afraid of looking stupid. That's something I've struggled with all of my life.
I'm a contradiction in terms, I love to turn heads, which you would think meant love to be looked at, right? I do like the "you did WHAT?!?" reaction, or the "Holy crap, that's a GIRL, how cool" look and or point. I get that a lot with my Night Rod Special. No matter where I go, someone at a light or in traffic either gives me a thumbs up, does a double take (one guy almost crashed his truck into a cement pillar because he was watching) or quite often, they stop someone in my group and ask questions about my bike. I love that...but really, I'm not one that likes to be looked at. I love to be impressive is more like it.
I've always had this over critical part of me, obsessing about being perfect. I know that I can't be perfect, and my appearance and my house are testaments to that knowledge, but I do like to be as good as the next guy...or in some cases, better.

So, anyway, a couple months ago, while watching friends race at the AMRA races in Bowling Green KY, after seeing a hand full of girls do well and have fun, I did the "if she can do that, so can I" speech in my head. A couple months later, here I am, learning to drag race.

I was coached on how to launch, and it was so frustrating because I was sure I wasn't doing it right because it wasn't this big dramatic frightening rocket experience. So I had someone else launch my bike for me. Turns out, I just had way too high of an expectation of the fear level on my part. I was doing it...needed to perfect it, but still, I was doing it. I practiced on back roads, but it isn't the same as a sticky drag strip with a light tree. I've gotten a lot of helpful information from several good friends, and I'm trying to keep them all in my head like a computer. Body position, staging, hand position, rpm, and psychological advice, and I'm thankful to all of you who are helping me. (Jase @hellcatcustoms, Brian from Valley Racing, Steve, Eddie, Tracy from Heathens & Hardheads Racing) I want to make you all proud of me.

My first attempt down the strip I was so not ready. Went to the tech, he looked at the bike, was told it was my very first time, so he let me go alone...but RIGHT NOW! I was like wait...no, I wanted to watch a couple people stage! But I wasn't going to be a baby and say something, so I went up there as directed, the good little soldier that I am. I staged too quickly and the light was green, GOOOOOO. I didn't go as fast as I could, I was told to take a slower trial run to get used to the track and the turn offs. I did a 13.5 with a reaction time of 1.009seconds.

My second pass, which is what I consider to be my 1st REAL pass... uh oh! I was against someone...a crotch rocket too! OMG. I staged much slower, inching my way forward, getting ready, got the rpm's up, and GONE, hauled ass to the end. The same happened the next time too. I was up against 140mph 10 second rockets! I managed to get my times in the mid 12's though. 12.34 my best, and my reaction time down to .7
I was having fun, still a little nervous, but getting better each try. It started to get dark, so my last 2 passes were fairly consecutive. The total times weren't better, but I was improving on my 60' times, so that's good. It got dark around then, so I decided to call it a night. It's bad enough to be flying 107mph down a track you don't really know, but when it's getting hard to see, I'll save that for when I'm more experienced.

Here are the stats:
1st real pass: RT - .73 / 60' - 1.873 / 1/4MI - 12.369 @ 100.86MPH
2ND: RT - .6968 / 60' - 1.9051 / 1/4MI - 12.3493 @ 107.87MPH
3RD: RT - .7387 / 60' - 1.9683 / 1/4MI - 12.4952 @ 106.18
4TH: RT - .7230 / 60' - 1.8429 / 1/4MI - 12.4548 @ 106.65MPH

All in all, I was pleased with myself. Not bad for a first timer. I impressed some of the boys I told my times to, that's good for me. My next goal, test and tune one more time, then it's off to Bowling Green KY the last weekend in September, to race in the AMRA finals! I'm aimin' high!!!

I usually try to tie in a life lesson or spiritual message to my blog posts, and this is what I've come up with. I was so nervous, fear of failure and the unknown had me making myself a bundle of nerves. But I had practiced and prepared, and in the end, it paid off. Everyone has to start somewhere, and we were all beginners in the beginning. You have to put your head down and press forward and do your best. If you do that, at the end, you just might impress someone, and yourself too! If you do your best, it will all be ok in the end :)



Btw, if you're interested in that sorta thing...I've separated my poetry to a new blog page, and there happens to be a new entry there as well, the link is at the top of this page.