It’s been a while since my last post. It’s not because I haven’t still had a million thoughts running through my head, but because I’ve been a slacker, mostly. I’ve been finding a lot of things to keep me busy around the house since riding weather is gone, and I’ve been left to sit around & look at everything surrounding me. I refinished my counter tops, ripped out and re-caulked the tub, and I’m gearing up to tear down old wallpaper and paint. I really should get a job soon, before the whole inside of the house is torn apart!
I spent the day running errands, cleaning house, making my ‘traditional’ new years eve dinner of fillet & lobster. It is the last day of 2010, and, of course I’ve been looking back on this past year. It’s been interesting, that’s for sure. I started the year frustrated and stressed, walked out on my job in May, and in spite of the lack of income, I’ve had a pleasant, de-stressing and adventurous riding season, which led me into a somewhat calmer fall. Yes, I got sad and missed my Mom, as I always do in October, but this year, because I spent so much time truly savoring and enjoying the summer and life, I have been more ok with the changing seasons than I have been in a long time. I am more at peace.
I listened to a few Alicia Keys songs today, and they had me thinking a lot about life, and how it is and has been for me.
Life perfect
Ain't perfect
If you don't know what the struggle's for
Falling down ain't falling down
If you don't cry when you hit the floor
It's called the past cause I'm getting past
And I ain't nothing like I was before
You ought to see me now
Yes I was burned but I called it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned
So I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
So I call it a lesson learned
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Life is cheap, bittersweet
But it taste good to me
Take my turn, crash and burn
That's how it's supposed to be
So don’t rain on my parade
Life’s too short to waste one day
I’m gonna risk it all, the freedom to fall
Yes it sure looks good to me
Time passed by leaves you behind
Take it naturally
Heaven knows There’s so much more
More than what we see
So don’t rain on my parade
Life’s too short to waste one day
I’m gonna risk it all, the freedom to fall
Yes it sure looks good to me
And I feel like I’m seeing the world inside of me
But I can tell you that I know, it's getting easier to breathe,
There’s a cold in the morning, endless equation
Of who’ve we've become, it’s a complex situation
So live, love, life give love
Live, love, life, give love
Live, love, life, give love
So don’t rain on my parade
Life’s too short to waste one day
I’m gonna risk it all, the freedom to fall
Yes it sure looks good to me
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Anyway, so, in spite of what appeared to be a setback, by losing income, I gained a new peace within myself. I’m not bidding good riddance to a bad year, but smiling because of the savor life moments I’ve been fortunate enough to notice and burn into memory. It’s just appreciation of the little things, really. But those little things have made a big difference in my state of mind.
I took a mental inventory last year, I plan on revisiting it at some point and noting the changes in me. But for now, I have decided to go into the new year not looking upon the past, but toward the future.
Another Alicia Keys song “All I know is everything’s gonna be allright”
The approach for this year…
1. Give thanks that life is... just as it is (and that it's been... just as it's been). Because of it, I’m now "READY."
2. Define what I want in terms of the end result. Don't worry about the hows, or even the course. KNOW that what I want is ALREADY mine in spirit, by divine LAW, to just focus on the certainty of this ownership, understand it, claim it, and "it will be on earth, as it is in heaven (spirit)."
3. LET THE UNIVERSE show me the way via my impulses and instincts that appear as I take inspired action. Don't worry that my first steps seem silly or futile. And if I don't know what to do, do anything! Go! Get busy! Do not insist on intermediary successes, only upon the end result.
2011 is going to be my year (it already is) and I’m really excited to see it unfold!
